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How To Set Healthy Boundaries When Starting A New Job

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How To Set Healthy Boundaries When Starting A New Job

Keiko rejoiced when her lengthy and difficult search job hunt ended in an offer from a top-tier marketing firm. She accepted the offer with great enthusiasm, and felt eager to start working with more prestigious clients and climbing the next rung on her career ladder.

Keiko did all she could to ensure that she left her former position on great terms, then threw herself into getting ready to start her new job. She made the most of the three weeks between the end of one job and the beginning of another by reviewing the agency’s client roster, scrutinizing ad campaigns, and studying the latest developments in social media marketing, which was a critical part of her new position.

One week into her new job, Keiko began to recognize that her idealized vision for her new role wasn’t going to match up to reality. Her past work as an in-house marketer had prepared her to expect standard operating procedures and a well-established chain of command. Her new agency functioned like a startup, with a fast-paced environment, loosely defined responsibilities, and fewer established processes and protocols.

Keiko admitted she was having difficulties in her new position during our coaching session the following week. She said, “I feel driven to people-please no matter what. I say yes to every request and I hold back instead of expressing my ideas. I worry about every colleague interaction because I don’t want to step on any toes.” Keiko tried to quell her anxieties by overworking. “I don’t feel like I’m ready for this position, so I find myself working more each passing week. I’m worried I’ll burn out before the three-month mark.”

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Maybe you can relate to Keiko’s story. Millions of Americans have switched jobs recently in the hopes of finding improved work-life balance. It’s common for high-achievers to spend their first days pushing themselves too hard out of eagerness to prove themselves.

If this sounds familiar, then perhaps you’ve also:

  • Taken on extra responsibilities to prove that you’re helpful
  • Replied to work correspondence late at night to prove that you’re responsive
  • Or overextended yourself to prove your value to the company

When you neglect to set boundaries in the early days of a new job, you may find yourself exhausted. What you might not realize is that you’re also setting high expectations for your performance, which you’ll need to continue living up to in the future. That could prove to be discouraging and untenable for the long term. If you want to establish strong boundaries right from the start in your first week on the job, here are some guidelines to help you make a great first impression while keeping your own needs in balance.

Understand your motivations.

Consider what underlies your desire to prove yourself. You probably have many positive motivations, like sincere enthusiasm for the work or wanting to show your value of hard work. However, there’s also a good chance that your fears may be prompting you to engage in self-sabotaging behavior. Unhelpful beliefs often start with the following phrases:

  • I have to…
  • I should / shouldn’t…
  • I must…

Over the course of our coaching work together, Keiko and I discovered one particular unhelpful belief underlying her behavior: “I have to be liked by everyone no matter what.” Even though it was not a conscious belief, it still had a huge impact on her actions. She realized that this belief was at the core of her pattern of withholding her most creative ideas, even though her out-of-the-box thinking was a reason she’d been brought on board in the first place.

So ask yourself what unspoken self-imposed guidelines you’re following at work. If you articulate your fears, you can diminish the power they hold over you, and find new ways to frame the way you see yourself, your value, and your contributions.

Ask, what’s the upside?

Keiko was resistant at first when I urged her to set boundaries in her new job. High-achievers often respond this way. They’re concerned about appearing difficult, weak, or demanding.

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But in reality, the practice of self-management – an emotional intelligence skill set whereby you regulate your time and your energy – is a critical leadership ability. Up to 90% of career success can be traced back to self-management. When you set boundaries, you’re demonstrating prioritization, communication prowess, and excellent time management.

Boundary-setting from the outset of a new job means demonstrating the capacity for effective leadership, and it lets you show other people how to treat you. The way you conduct yourself indicates what behaviors and standards you will or will not accept.

Keiko’s eyes were opened to the fact that her drive to please others was sending signals that she was a doormat. Once she realized this, she made a point of politely asserting herself when she saw possibilities that no one else had identified.

Express your preferences

Consider the boundaries – emotional, physical, and mental – that enable you to perform at your best. Define:

  • How often you’ll take breaks during the workday, and how long they’ll be
  • How long it takes you to respond to messages and emails
  • Blocks in your calendar for focused work, and when you’re unavailable to meet
  • The start and end times for your workday
  • What types of work you have bandwidth for and enjoy the most
  • Any training or resources you may need in order to perform in your role

Proactively articulate your boundaries with your team and your supervisor. During Keiko’s onboarding, she set up sessions with each of her stakeholders individually so they could discuss how to work together. During these meetings, she summarized her preferences and her work style, and asked about what they expected of her. These meetings boosted Keiko’s self-confidence and impressed her stakeholders, who appreciated her transparency and her communication.

Be strategic with your energy.

Your initial weeks and months in a new position play a role in your reputation in the workplace. It’s a good idea to overdeliver, but to be careful to do so in a strategic and selective way. Identify the areas where you can make the greatest impact, and focus your energy there. Understand what your manager wants and expects from you, so you can match their priorities and offer maximum value.

Find allies among your coworkers who will support you and advocate on your behalf. Make the most of your status as a new hire by asking lots of questions. Don’t worry about looking “dumb” or unknowledgeable. By asking questions, you’re strengthening your relationships within the company by making others feel important and esteemed.

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Build and strengthen new habits.

When we take on a new job, it gives us a clean slate and the opportunity to reset. Psychologists call this the fresh start effect. It refers to the tendency to take action and progress towards our goals following special occasions, milestones, or specific dates.

Make the most of your fresh start and outgrow your bad habits. Keiko used to work through her lunch break every day. She decided not to do that anymore, and created new habits to replace it. After just a few months at her new job, she consistently prepared her lunches in advance, blocked lunch time out on her calendar, and ate in the break room instead of at her desk.

When establishing and maintaining strong boundaries, accountability is critical, and there are many approaches you can take. You could create a tracker to record your boundary progress, or schedule a time each week to check in with yourself and review how you’re doing. The odds that you’ll succeed increase by up to 95% if you find an accountability buddy and meet with them from time to time.

New jobs can provoke anxieties and also breathe new life into your career. When you establish healthy boundaries from the very beginning, you’re setting yourself on track for sustainable, long-term success.

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Snapchat Explores New Messaging Retention Feature: A Game-Changer or Risky Move?

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Snapchat Explores New Messaging Retention Feature: A Game-Changer or Risky Move?

In a recent announcement, Snapchat revealed a groundbreaking update that challenges its traditional design ethos. The platform is experimenting with an option that allows users to defy the 24-hour auto-delete rule, a feature synonymous with Snapchat’s ephemeral messaging model.

The proposed change aims to introduce a “Never delete” option in messaging retention settings, aligning Snapchat more closely with conventional messaging apps. While this move may blur Snapchat’s distinctive selling point, Snap appears convinced of its necessity.

According to Snap, the decision stems from user feedback and a commitment to innovation based on user needs. The company aims to provide greater flexibility and control over conversations, catering to the preferences of its community.

Currently undergoing trials in select markets, the new feature empowers users to adjust retention settings on a conversation-by-conversation basis. Flexibility remains paramount, with participants able to modify settings within chats and receive in-chat notifications to ensure transparency.

Snapchat underscores that the default auto-delete feature will persist, reinforcing its design philosophy centered on ephemerality. However, with the app gaining traction as a primary messaging platform, the option offers users a means to preserve longer chat histories.

The update marks a pivotal moment for Snapchat, renowned for its disappearing message premise, especially popular among younger demographics. Retaining this focus has been pivotal to Snapchat’s identity, but the shift suggests a broader strategy aimed at diversifying its user base.

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This strategy may appeal particularly to older demographics, potentially extending Snapchat’s relevance as users age. By emulating features of conventional messaging platforms, Snapchat seeks to enhance its appeal and broaden its reach.

Yet, the introduction of message retention poses questions about Snapchat’s uniqueness. While addressing user demands, the risk of diluting Snapchat’s distinctiveness looms large.

As Snapchat ventures into uncharted territory, the outcome of this experiment remains uncertain. Will message retention propel Snapchat to new heights, or will it compromise the platform’s uniqueness?

Only time will tell.

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Catering to specific audience boosts your business, says accountant turned coach

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Catering to specific audience boosts your business, says accountant turned coach

While it is tempting to try to appeal to a broad audience, the founder of alcohol-free coaching service Just the Tonic, Sandra Parker, believes the best thing you can do for your business is focus on your niche. Here’s how she did just that.

When running a business, reaching out to as many clients as possible can be tempting. But it also risks making your marketing “too generic,” warns Sandra Parker, the founder of Just The Tonic Coaching.

“From the very start of my business, I knew exactly who I could help and who I couldn’t,” Parker told My Biggest Lessons.

Parker struggled with alcohol dependence as a young professional. Today, her business targets high-achieving individuals who face challenges similar to those she had early in her career.

“I understand their frustrations, I understand their fears, and I understand their coping mechanisms and the stories they’re telling themselves,” Parker said. “Because of that, I’m able to market very effectively, to speak in a language that they understand, and am able to reach them.” 

“I believe that it’s really important that you know exactly who your customer or your client is, and you target them, and you resist the temptation to make your marketing too generic to try and reach everyone,” she explained.

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“If you speak specifically to your target clients, you will reach them, and I believe that’s the way that you’re going to be more successful.

Watch the video for more of Sandra Parker’s biggest lessons.

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Instagram Tests Live-Stream Games to Enhance Engagement

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Instagram Tests Live-Stream Games to Enhance Engagement

Instagram’s testing out some new options to help spice up your live-streams in the app, with some live broadcasters now able to select a game that they can play with viewers in-stream.

As you can see in these example screens, posted by Ahmed Ghanem, some creators now have the option to play either “This or That”, a question and answer prompt that you can share with your viewers, or “Trivia”, to generate more engagement within your IG live-streams.

That could be a simple way to spark more conversation and interaction, which could then lead into further engagement opportunities from your live audience.

Meta’s been exploring more ways to make live-streaming a bigger consideration for IG creators, with a view to live-streams potentially catching on with more users.

That includes the gradual expansion of its “Stars” live-stream donation program, giving more creators in more regions a means to accept donations from live-stream viewers, while back in December, Instagram also added some new options to make it easier to go live using third-party tools via desktop PCs.

Live streaming has been a major shift in China, where shopping live-streams, in particular, have led to massive opportunities for streaming platforms. They haven’t caught on in the same way in Western regions, but as TikTok and YouTube look to push live-stream adoption, there is still a chance that they will become a much bigger element in future.

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Which is why IG is also trying to stay in touch, and add more ways for its creators to engage via streams. Live-stream games is another element within this, which could make this a better community-building, and potentially sales-driving option.

We’ve asked Instagram for more information on this test, and we’ll update this post if/when we hear back.

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