Mom Admits She Hates Her Daughter after Adopting Her at 14 Months Old: ‘I Feel Trapped’
An adoptive mother recently took to Facebook to air her grievances about her adopted daughter, whom she brought home from Russia when the child was only 14 months old. Now, she is seeking advice.
After a mother adopted her daughter from Russia when the little girl was only 14 months old, she has taken to social media to plead with other parents for help or advice as she struggles with her daughter.
The story went viral after a TikTok user found it and posted screenshots of the woman’s Facebook posts on her timeline. The reactions from those who have seen the posts were a mixture of shock and disgust.
Little girl holding paper cutouts of a man and woman | Source: Getty Images
The woman has frequently posted status updates on Facebook in which she talks about how much she “despises” the daughter she adopted twelve years ago because of how difficult the young woman has made her life.
Now, a user in TikTok is calling her out, saying that she has “buyer’s remorse” after adopting the young woman. Other TikTok users have shared their thoughts on the video, saying the mother is to blame for the child’s behavior as she has been in their care since she was a baby.
What Caused The Woman to Post on Social Media?
In 2018, the woman took to Facebook to share that her daughter, who she had adopted 12 years ago, had reactive attachment disorder (RAD), and she wished her agency had done more to warn her that this might happen.
A newborn baby holding an adult finger | Source: Getty Images
The condition can hinder a child’s ability to form emotional attachments to their parents. The condition can form if a child does not get the proper love, care, and attention they need when they are younger.
Apart from saying that she wished her child’s adoption agency had warned her of the potential complications, the woman said:
“Now I feel trapped and on guard all the time.”
A portrait of a blonde teenage girl | Source: Getty Images
The woman described her daughter as inappropriate and said that she hoarded food and garbage, lying and stealing. The woman added that her daughter was disorganized, angry, and disrespectful, and she wished she was gone.
The woman said that she did not feel like she liked or loved her daughter and longer wanted her, wondering if the state was not legally required to take in a child whose parents had voluntarily relinquished responsibility for them.
Apart from saying she despised her daughter, the woman said she grew up in a happy and respectful home and now felt like she was “stuck” with a daughter who she didn’t care very much about anymore.
A comment left on a TikTok video about a woman despising her adopted daughter | Source: tiktok.com/@karpoozy/
When talking about how much she “hates” her daughter, the woman hoped she was not the only one who felt that way about the situation. She then talked about a situation that made her want to give her daughter up for adoption all over again.
The woman said it had been her father’s memorial service, and the young girl refused to go because she didn’t feel she had a relationship with the deceased. The woman was incensed as she had grown up knowing the man.
The young girl didn’t want to see any of her adoptive mother’s family as she believed they all held hatred for her and was furious that her mother was insisting she go to the function anyway.
The woman then said that even though they had had the young girl since she was 14 months old, it had been “hell” since the beginning, and she said she couldn’t wait for the day when the girl would be out of their lives forever.
What Did Social Media Users Say?
While the woman sought help from social media users, what she got instead was heavy criticism. One user wondered how the woman didn’t realize that she had caused her daughter’s issues since she had adopted her when she was a baby.
A comment left on a TikTok video about a woman despising her adopted daughter | Source: tiktok.com/@karpoozy/
A comment left on a TikTok video about a woman despising her adopted daughter | Source: tiktok.com/@karpoozy/
A comment left on a TikTok video about a woman despising her adopted daughter | Source: tiktok.com/@karpoozy/
Another said that since they had adopted her at 14 months old, this was how she was raised, and her upbringing was why she was acting out so badly. One person wondered how much worse the woman was talking about their daughter behind closed doors if this is how she was talking about her publicly.
One person said they were impossible at thirteen without all the trauma that comes with adoption and that they felt sorry for the young girl. Another said the girl deserved better and wondered why people thought they could give their children up again simply because they had adopted them.
Sadly, other mothers think that they can give their children up because they adopted them. You can read the story of a mother who gave her adopted son up for adoption as soon as she had a biological child here.